But-
I told myself I'd do an entry before I went. Basically being able to go to the bathroom will be my reward to myself. (Yeah, I'm weird)
So I wanted to talk about the dream I had last night. This dream, I concluded, came to me because I read an article a couple weeks ago about a woman who managed to escape from trafficking. Her story was so horrific that I became quite emotional and freshly aware of the evilness that exists in our world. This was what my dream was about. Only this time, I was the one trapped.
I remember the dream starting out as either 1- I had to rescue a friend from trafficking, and in order to help her I had to give myself up to it, or 2- my friend was kidnapped and I knew I needed to save her so somehow I ended up being trapped with her... I guess those two are pretty similar. Whatever. I can't remember 100%.
Anyway, from what I remember of the dream, there was a group of girls and a group of boys and we were all kept in this building. I remember constantly being on edge and apologizing all the time in fear of being disciplined in a very harsh way. There was one leader and his team. I remember him wanting to have his way with one of the other girls and I volunteered to join her so she wouldn't have to suffer alone. I also remember being held down and forced to take a shot of something (by shot I mean a syringe). As I was being injected I remember thinking that this is how they keep us trapped and from trying to escape. I feel completely helpless and that I'd never be free again.
I remember the way we had to bathe. We were given very little water to wash ourselves with and everyone had to wash together. In the dream we still had our clothes on though... so that was kind of weird. There was only one instance where I managed to find a way to escape. I remember running so fast through a neighborhood and ended up at this house that was shaped like an apple and once I got inside I noticed the outer portion of the house was spinning. I thought I was safe. Lo and behold I entered the home of this elderly lady who actually knew about the trafficking going on down the road. She returned girls to the traffickers! So when I realized that that's what she was going to do I tried to escape her house and get away. I don't remember what happened in between but somehow I ended up back at the building we were kept in.
I felt like a child. Like a child who wasn't allowed to do any wrong or else be punished. During this dream I was never punished but always felt threatened.
Another crazy thing was that my boyfriend was there, too. He was in the boys group. I wasn't allowed to talk with him very often. One time we crossed paths and I patted his leg as we walked by each other and the leader looked back at me like I shouldn't have tried anything and I immediately apologized. The only other time I saw my boyfriend was during bathing time. We were waiting our turn and had time to talk. I don't remember what we talked about.
That was basically the extent of the dream that I had. I woke up feeling like total crap. Couldn't stop thinking about what I had just dreamed about. Talked to my boyfriend about it and started getting emotional because I know that things like this happen to people every day... and I just can't imagine what it must really be like.
Just remembering the way I felt in the dream was enough. I can't fathom what a real experience would be like. Having your rights taken away. Being watched like a hawk. Not being able to make mistakes or do what you want. Not having any control whatsoever. You're just a thing being used to make money for the scum of the earth that deserve to be in the deepest level of hell.
I'm still not sure why I even had this dream. If I just felt so bad for this lady but thrilled that she managed to escape? Was I feeling sympathetic or empathetic? I don't know... all I know is that I want to help women like her but I don't really know how. It's such a scary thing. To think she got involved because she dated a guy who ended up being one of these traffickers. I mean... how could she have had any idea that that was going to happen. I wish I could have saved her. I'd love to save them all.
Have any of you had horrendous dreams to this extent or worse? Feel free to post a comment describing your experience in dream land.
I may touch upon this topic at a later date since nature is screaming at me now.
emelitsuki
Emily
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